Monday, July 10, 2017

Embracing Me

I needed to go clothes shopping before we left for vacation.

[insert rolling eye emoji here]

I saw a buy one, get 75% off the second and I figured since I need a pair of regular shorts and Capri length shorts, let me get them. I didn't want to try them on so I bought the size I thought I am currently, since I figured if I went down another size I'd explode in the shorts. But, I didn't take into consideration that the shorts have a full elastic waist. I  wanted to get 2 tank top type blouses to go with my leggings, but I needed them to be big and long so they can cover me enough (well to a certain degree because in my mind, it's never enough). And well, it's kind of hard when you're in the weight loss process, you're not where you'd like to be but you're grateful you aren't where you used to be; but it takes a bit longer for your mind to process that you don't look the same. So, in your mind's eye you continue to see yourself as before. It's a constant struggle with self-image and self-esteem. And so, once I started putting on the clothes while on vacation, I realized I could have and should have bought the shorts another size down because the ones I bought are a bit big on me; and I once again realized that buying bigger clothes makes you look bigger than you really are. Yes, it's a science I have known for years, but trying to rationalize why I bought it bigger made sense.  Sigh.

Fast forward two weeks after my vacation. As I was thinking about the shorts and the clothes, I just had to pause, breathe, and thank God for loving me just as I am. I just had to realize that it's okay to be "under construction" and to deal with the ups and downs while I'm on the journey to a better, healthier me. Now, each time I put on the shorts and tops, I will know that I am continually shedding and losing pounds and inches, little by little, and I will feel happy that the next time I go buy some shorts I can actually buy the smaller size because I know that I will fit into them, and if that's not something to shout GLORY and to praise God for, then I don't know what is!

Father, I thank you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made and You are not finished with me yet!

Take a moment and reflect on where you are in your self-improvement journey. Don't dwell on where you'd like to be, but be grateful you're not where you were before. If  you need to make some adjustments, do so without judgement or punishing yourself. Decide to make adjustments and remind yourself you're under construction and He's not finished yet! And, remember, you are certainly not alone!

It is my prayer that this reflection be a part of your daily portion.

Love & Blessings,

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